~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
A Make-Or-Break Day
April 27, 2009Tomorrow’s a make-or-break day for me. I’m having mixed feelings about this, but I know that I should pursue this endeavor. As always, I’m just giving it my best shot, and just placing it in God’s hands. Wish me luck… 
Thoughts from A Single Parent
April 25, 2009Today’s a very tiring but very happy day for me. My son celebrated his 3rd birthday at a nearby but famous fastfood chain. I only invited my closest relatives and friends, those who knew the “history” of my son. The emcee of my son’s kiddie party approached me before the party started and asked if it’s alright with me and my son’s dad to give birthday wishes and do the final remarks. My son’s dad. Yeah you’ve read it right. I tried to control a chuckle, and told the emcee that I could give the final remarks, that my son’s dad is not available. I also requested her not to mention anything about my son’s dad during the party.
It’s been three years. Actually to be more accurate, it’s almost 4 years since I last saw the shadow of my sperm donor (a.k.a. my son’s dad). I have already moved on and deep within, I have already forgiven him for all the heartaches (and headaches) he has caused me. But it doesn’t mean I have forgotten the lessons I learned from that experience. There are those moments wherein I ridicule and make nasty comments about him, but that doesn’t mean I’m still bitter. Time heals all wounds. And although the scars of the past will always be there to remind me of my foolishness, I know the pain is no longer there. And sincerely, I also hope that he has moved on and has found the right woman for him – a woman who shares his beliefs, principles, and most importantly, his faith.
I stared at my son closely this afternoon. He is growing up and slowly becoming more aware of his surroundings. Soon, he will notice that only Mommy accompanies him to school occasions. Soon, he will notice that he has a GRANDfather and GODfather, but never had a father. Soon he will discover that family for him is made up of Mommy, Daddy-Lolo (Grandfather), Mama-Lola (Grandmother), Ninong (his godfather, my brother), and Ninang (his godmother, my cousin). I know sooner or later he will ask about his dad. I know it will take a lot of effort and patience on my end to make him understand what happened. But one thing I can always tell and show him – “Son, you may not have your dad right now, but I promise you that Mommy will always love you and will always be here for you. Things may not have worked out between your dad and I but be assured that I never regret having you. You are the best thing that happened to me. ”
You
April 12, 2009I have written this poem about a year-and-a-half ago and have posted it on my Friendster blog as my Valentine’s Day poem dedicated to my one and only Zion. Since April is Zion’s birthmonth, I chose to feature this poem here in my personal blog in i.ph (also featured in my Multiply site - I’m trying to synchronize my blogs).
You…
… are the sunshine that brightens up my gloomy mornings
… are the brightest star in the deep dark night
… are the breath of fresh air to my suffocated life force
… are the salt and sugar that flavors my bitter existence
… are the gentle touch that heals the wounds of the past
… are the tiny ray of hope to my bleak future
… are my refuge from the harsh winds of change
… are the flame that melts my ice-cold heart
… are the only straight path in my warped and twisted mind
… are the only real thing in my disoriented and disillusioned world
… are the light at the end of the dark tunnels of my life.
… are the great river that quenches my thirst and hunger for salvation
… are the rope that pulled me when I was at the end of my line
… are the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow
… are my greatest strength and strongest weakness rolled into one.
… are more priceless than all the diamonds of the earth
… are the most precious gem conceived by Mother Nature
… are happiness and hope personified.
… are the fullness and fullfilment of my being
… are a dream come true
… are the best thing that happened to me.
… are my yesterday, my today, my tomorrow.
… are my morning, my noon, and my night.
… are special to me. You always have been. You always will be.
… are my everdearest, my one, my only LOVE.
