"It is such a secret place, the land of tears."
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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Goodbye Lola Azon

May 28, 2009

I hate deaths. Last Saturday, another grandmother died - my father’s mom. I’m not that close to her as compared to my grandmother, my mother’s mom. But somehow, the thought of losing someone, never seeing, talking, touching him or her again, is something that I hate.

I took 4-days off from work. I knew I would be needed at home, even if my Dad keeps telling me “Ok lang, Anak. Sige, pumasok ka na.”. No. This is one occassion wherein I will certainly disobey him. Family always comes first for me. If ever I lose my current job (which is not impossible), I know I will certainly find another one in some months or years time (that is, should I still choose to continue living a monotonous life as a COBOL developer). But I know, I can never bring back the time lost when I should have helped and stayed with my family during the moments I was needed. And death is surely one of those moments. My teamlead at the office texted me last Monday asking me to come to work, despite the fact that I have texted her about my grandmother’s death. How some people can become insensitive and inconsiderate of others, just because of work. She later apologized for that insensitivity. Had she pursued it, I would have texted her back, “Consider me for the next round of retrenchment. I don’t want to work in a company, whose only goal is to have concern and resolve a f*ckin’ bunch of tickets for its clients, but doesn’t have the slightest tinge of concern and sensitivity to their grieving employees”.

Yesterday my grandmother was buried. As her coffin was slowly lowered down the pit, I said a silent prayer. Being a good woman, I know she would be in God’s presence soon. Perhaps, being nearer to God, she can relay to Him my prayers. “Lola Azon, I know you will be with God soon. Together with Lola Pacing, please help me pray to God, for Him to help me find a new beginning in my career. I am no longer happy and each day has become a struggle for me. Please help me pray that God helps me overcome whatever challenges I am facing right now. I want to leave this present career and start afresh with what my heart has desired 13 years ago - to be a writer, never a programmer - it’s just that the financial restraints and obligations have always stopped me from pursuing this. Help me Lola Azon and Lola Pacing. Help me pray to God.”.

Posted by alteredaura at 6:28 pm | permalink | Add comment

Foodtrip: The Pamana Experience

May 2, 2009

Yesterday was Labor Day Friday here in Manila – a non-working holiday. And since our home (my parents’ room, to be exact) was undergoing some re-painting, my family decided to go on a road trip to Tagaytay. They were very much impressed with my stories regarding my palate experience at Pamana Restaurant that they decided to have lunch there – at my expense - I will be treating them for lunch. Talk about me and my big mouth.

Since we left home late (around 10AM already), we reached the place at around 1PM. The place was quite jampacked. The parking lot could accommodate around 10-12 vehicles. And It was just my (bad) luck that there was still one single parking space left (as if some powerful force reserved it for us). We went in and found that we are waiting-to-be-seated. While waiting, my Mom placed the orders -  Nilagang Bulalo, Laing, Original Ilocano Bagnet (similar to the Lechon Kawali but more crispy), Pinaputok na Tilapia, Plain Rice, and Lemongrass Iced Tea in a Carafe. My Dad on the other hand, was closely looking at  the memorabilia displayed on the resto’s walls, which includes photographs from the owner’s (Happy Ongpauco) family. After waiting for a couple of minutes (I must admit that the waiting time was quite long), we got our table. It was a spot at the 2nd floor, at the veranda side. My family and I liked the spot, because we were able to get a feel of the cold Tagaytay breeze, and Zion can scream his heart out without causing much attention from the people who are dining inside.

Maybe because we placed our orders earlier, our waiting time for the food was better. First to be served were the Bulalo and Tilapia, followed by the Rice and Laing. The soup from the Nilagang Bulalo was very delicious. And since the climate was causing me to freeze, the soup was very comforting. The meat from the Bulalo was cooked right,  it can be chewed and swallowed with minimal effort. Ü.  I was not able to savor the Tilapia yesterday but I had the chance to savor it during my first visit to Pamana last April. The Pinaputok na Tilapia was wrapped in banana leaves. The scent from the tilapia was very appetizing and despite the fact that it was grilled, the freshness of the fish was still preserved. The flavor from the fish garnishings added to the already-enticing tilapia.  According to my mom, the Laing was also delicious, although its richness made it quite “nakakaumay”. The rice serving was quite big, that one “palayok” can serve about 2-3 people. The unique Lemongrass   Iced Tea came in next. I just wished it came in first because the resto doesn’t serve water unless one asks for it. Nonetheless, the unique lemongrass iced tea was a respite from the regular Nestea or Lipton variants served in other dining spots. It was not that sweet but it can surely quench any person’s thirst.  Unfortunately, to my brother’s dismay (since he’s not into Bulalo, Tilapia, or Laing), the Bagnet came in late.  We had to make a follow-up on it before it got served.  Nevertheless, when it was served, everyone  (even my Dad who was not into pork) liked the delicious crispy Ilocano delicacy. After indulging in our sumptuous meal, my dad ordered a cup of brewed coffee to “wash away” the “umay” he had from eating the Bulalo and Bagnet. It was the traditional Kapeng Barako from the nearby province of Batangas.

Overall, the Pamana food trip experience is something any Filipino food lover should try. The delectable array of food items would bring back memories of our grandmothers’ cooking. The memorabilia on the resto’s wall  is a blast-from-the-past that would bring back the older generation to the good old days of Sampaguita and LVN pictures, while giving the younger generation a glimpse of how was life in the past. The resto’s cozy ambiance is very relaxing to any traveler who has just reached Tagaytay after battling it out with Manila’s traffic. Try to visit the place if you happen to be in Tagaytay:

Pamana Restaurant
Beside The Boutique - Bed and Breakfast
Just after the Tagaytay Rotunda
Aguinaldo Highway, Tagaytay City

 

 

 

 

Posted by alteredaura at 11:06 am | permalink | Add comment

Thoughts from A Single Parent

April 25, 2009

Today’s a very tiring but very happy day for me. My son celebrated his 3rd birthday at a nearby but famous fastfood chain. I only invited my closest relatives and friends, those who knew the “history” of my son. The emcee of my son’s kiddie party approached me before the party started and asked if it’s alright with me and my son’s dad to give birthday wishes and do the final remarks. My son’s dad. Yeah you’ve read it right. I tried to control a chuckle,  and told the emcee that I could give the final remarks, that my son’s dad is not available. I also requested her not to mention anything about my son’s dad during the party.

It’s been three years. Actually to be more accurate, it’s almost 4 years since I last saw the shadow of my sperm donor (a.k.a. my son’s dad). I have already moved on and deep within, I have already forgiven him for all the heartaches (and headaches) he has caused me. But it doesn’t mean I have forgotten the lessons I learned from that experience. There are those moments wherein I ridicule and make nasty comments about him, but that doesn’t mean I’m still bitter. Time heals all wounds. And although the scars of the past will always be there to remind me of my foolishness, I know the pain is no longer there. And sincerely, I also hope that he has moved on and has found the right woman for him – a woman who shares his beliefs, principles, and most importantly, his faith.

I stared at my son closely this afternoon. He is growing up and slowly becoming more aware of his surroundings. Soon, he will notice that only Mommy accompanies him to school occasions. Soon, he will notice that he has a GRANDfather and GODfather, but never had a father. Soon he will discover that family for him is made up of Mommy, Daddy-Lolo (Grandfather), Mama-Lola (Grandmother), Ninong  (his godfather, my brother), and Ninang (his godmother, my cousin). I know sooner or later he will ask about his dad. I know it will take a lot of effort and patience on my end to make him understand what happened. But one thing I can always tell and show him – Son, you may not have your dad right now, but I promise you that Mommy will always love you and will always be here for you. Things may not have worked out between your dad and I but be assured that I never regret having you. You are the best thing that happened to me. ”

Posted by alteredaura at 11:50 pm | permalink | Add comment