~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Not Worth It
June 29, 2009Today is one of those days wherein I just want to drop everything and quit this f*ckin’ battle. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth the sleepless nights I’m having. Not worth the prolonged menstruation days (3 bloody weeks!) I’m experiencing. Not worth the hormonal imbalance my body is going through. Not worth the tears at night I’m crying. Not worth the headaches and heartaches I’m getting out of frustration. It’s not worth it.
Yes, I’m being paid to fight this battle, but I guess, money is not always the end. Especially if one’s sanity, peace of mind, and happiness is on the line. Sadly, I became a pawn in this nasty battle - a pawn manipulated because of the monetary gains that I get. It’s like a drug that has grown on me and to let go means to suffer from withdrawal syndrome. But I know soon the weariness, stress, and frustration will get the better of me. Knowing myself, the need for the dough will not outweigh my longing for peace of mind. It’s just a matter of time…
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