~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Thoughts from A Single Parent
April 25, 2009Today’s a very tiring but very happy day for me. My son celebrated his 3rd birthday at a nearby but famous fastfood chain. I only invited my closest relatives and friends, those who knew the “history” of my son. The emcee of my son’s kiddie party approached me before the party started and asked if it’s alright with me and my son’s dad to give birthday wishes and do the final remarks. My son’s dad. Yeah you’ve read it right. I tried to control a chuckle, and told the emcee that I could give the final remarks, that my son’s dad is not available. I also requested her not to mention anything about my son’s dad during the party.
It’s been three years. Actually to be more accurate, it’s almost 4 years since I last saw the shadow of my sperm donor (a.k.a. my son’s dad). I have already moved on and deep within, I have already forgiven him for all the heartaches (and headaches) he has caused me. But it doesn’t mean I have forgotten the lessons I learned from that experience. There are those moments wherein I ridicule and make nasty comments about him, but that doesn’t mean I’m still bitter. Time heals all wounds. And although the scars of the past will always be there to remind me of my foolishness, I know the pain is no longer there. And sincerely, I also hope that he has moved on and has found the right woman for him – a woman who shares his beliefs, principles, and most importantly, his faith.
I stared at my son closely this afternoon. He is growing up and slowly becoming more aware of his surroundings. Soon, he will notice that only Mommy accompanies him to school occasions. Soon, he will notice that he has a GRANDfather and GODfather, but never had a father. Soon he will discover that family for him is made up of Mommy, Daddy-Lolo (Grandfather), Mama-Lola (Grandmother), Ninong (his godfather, my brother), and Ninang (his godmother, my cousin). I know sooner or later he will ask about his dad. I know it will take a lot of effort and patience on my end to make him understand what happened. But one thing I can always tell and show him – “Son, you may not have your dad right now, but I promise you that Mommy will always love you and will always be here for you. Things may not have worked out between your dad and I but be assured that I never regret having you. You are the best thing that happened to me. ”
